This past new moon had me pulling “worth” from the moon deck – teaching your inner negative Nancy to be more supportive, and freeing yourself from critical thoughts towards body and worth. I honestly felt that I didn’t need that work. However, as I took the time to pay more attention to how I saw and spoke of myself, I realized that I did – the deflecting, the pulling away from affection, the joking self deprecation, and even my lack of caring for myself on most days.
I was having trouble making peace with my new form. My body and self worth had indeed changed. In this new I cannot be as spry, my sleepless habits can be read in the lines on my face, and I am quite a bit rounder than I have ever been. Yes, I had been quietly shaming myself for longer than I cared to admit.
Over the past few weeks I have been streamlining and organizing most of that which makes up my day to day in order to simplify and take back my worth inside and out. My work closet (because we all know it’s the clothes fault that I feel hideous and unkempt) is down to five tops and some jeans that will make morning life easier.. bonus points for less laundry and not sacrificing feeling like I put myself together somewhat.
I am slowly moving to making better food choices and have been doing my yoga every morning. I am keeping up with my meditations and am working on a better sleep schedule. I have also incorporated some simple ritual into my morning quiet daily because my spiritual is very important to me. I plan to keep with this card through the next moon cycle as I feel there is more work to be done here.
In the quiet place before my ancestors, I settle comfortably on my cushion. I have a candle, usually something seasonal to honor nature’s cycles, sitting in front of me. I spray myself with my meditation spray, breathe deeply, and speak to greet the day – “in flame, in fire, light that warms my soul, sacred sun”. I then light the candle. In the flame’s warmth, I take up my Mala beads, close my eyes, and move into meditation.